It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
