i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
