You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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