At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize