I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
