It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
