Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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