Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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