what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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