I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
