I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
