bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am available for nakedness
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
