i would punch a child for taco bell
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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