how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
