if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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