I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
