my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
