I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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