god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
