i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You are a genius and a whore.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
