I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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