I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Randomize
