do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
