That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
