Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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