youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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