so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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