Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize