The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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