either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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