some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
