my sisters under your porch take her home
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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