Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
