I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
True strength comes from lack of pants
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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