I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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