Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
