farters have to be the big spoon...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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