Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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