that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
