is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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