Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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