Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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