She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
