we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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