Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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