what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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