Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
