pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
please come you make the beer taste better
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
