small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
