I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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