i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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