return my video game
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
