All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
