just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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