That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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