"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There r osticjed everywhere
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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