we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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