so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm just crazy horny about you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize