Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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