in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
