He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
