Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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